Using Enneagram Stances for Growth - Types 4, 5, 9
hey soaring blog friends, we're so glad you're here!Last week’s blog focused on self-discovery and growth using Enneagram stances for Types 3, 7, and 8, the Assertive stance. If you missed it, you can find an overview of stances here.
This week, we’ll dive into self-discovery and growth using Enneagram stances for Withdrawn types: 4, 5, and 9.
Critical Point: As you dive into using stances for growth, you need to be confident in your personality type for the information to have the greatest impact. If you’re unsure, we can help coach you to identify your core personality type. Start here.
Repressed Centers
Stances are defined by which center is repressed, representing parts of ourselves we don’t use productively.
The Withdrawn stance represses doing, meaning individuals with this stance often suppress their ability to act and engage with the external world. They tend to push down action and prioritize thinking and feeling instead, navigating their experiences from within.
This group tends to focus on the past, drawing on their internal world for guidance and understanding.
Withdrawn Stance: Types 4, 5, and 9
This group:
You enjoy spending time alone or in low-stimulation environments and prioritize your internal thoughts and feelings over external interactions.
You value your independence and rely on your own strength to manage your life. You often observe rather than actively participate, and you let others think or believe what they will.
Your independence and reserved nature may lead others to misunderstand you. You might feel that your unique perspective is not fully appreciated.
You tend to keep your suggestions and ideas to yourself, avoiding shaking things up. Your focus is on analysis and pondering rather than taking initiative.
You take time to think long and carefully about important decisions, reducing the likelihood of mistakes. You may avoid consulting others, preferring to rely on your own judgments.
While you might make accommodations for others, you could silently harbor resentment. When you finally assert yourself, it might come across as forceful.
You might struggle with follow-through due to the perceived cost or effort involved, often focusing more on planning and analyzing rather than executing.
Tips for Growth for Types 4, 5, and 9
For those of you with the Withdrawn stance, finding a balance between your inner world and the outer world is key. You’re naturally drawn to solitude and deep thinking, which are great strengths. Your ability to reflect deeply and provide unique perspectives is a gift that enriches those around you, offering valuable emotional understanding, analytical insights, and a broad view of various perspectives.
For growth, it’s helpful to gently nudge yourself into action and engagement with others. Notice when you’re pulling back too much and take small steps to connect with people, even if it feels a bit uncomfortable. Set achievable goals to blend your rich inner life with practical actions.
Embrace your reflective nature and independence, but also remember that stepping into action can open new opportunities and connections. Balancing your self-sufficiency with engagement in the outer world will enhance both your personal growth and your interactions with others.
Type 4: The Individualist
Embrace Your Authenticity: Recognize and appreciate what makes you unique without feeling the need to fit into a specific mold. Your individuality is a strength. Use creative outlets like art, music, or writing to express your authentic self and channel your emotions. Remember, you don't need to withdraw or distance yourself to protect your sense of self—embracing your uniqueness can enhance your connection with others.
Recognize When You’re Withdrawing: Pay attention to when you retreat from social interactions or avoid engaging with others due to emotional overwhelm or feeling misunderstood. It's important to build self-assurance and understand that you are not the problem; your presence and voice are valuable.
Manage Your Emotions: When your emotions start to feel overwhelming, use grounding techniques to regain balance. Try deep breathing, mindfulness, or simple activities that help you stay calm. Set aside regular time for self-care, like journaling or creative activities. If needed, talk to a therapist for additional support. These steps can help you manage intense emotions and stay balanced.
Engage Actively: Create specific goals for engaging with others, such as attending social events or participating in group activities. Take the initiative to reach out to friends or family, even if it feels uncomfortable at first. Embracing action and connection, rather than withdrawing, can help you feel more connected and valued.
Type 5: The Investigator
Balance Thought and Feeling: Separate your emotions from your thoughts to use your thinking effectively. Acknowledge feelings like anxiety without letting them dictate your actions. Channel curiosity into practical steps and address emotional distance with small actions.
Share Your Insights: Share your thoughts and ideas earlier than usual to receive feedback and learn from others. It’s okay if your ideas aren’t fully formed; sharing successes and challenges strengthens relationships.
Implement and Accomplish: Be cautious of spending too much time planning. Take action to move beyond the planning stage. Set clear, intentional goals, and create a to-do list to guide your progress. Remember, it's important to tackle tasks even if they aren't the most exciting.
Express your feelings: Make it a priority to communicate how you feel. People won’t know what they mean to you unless you tell them. ❤️ Be intentional about sharing your feelings and appreciation.
Type 9: The Peacemaker
Manage Conflict Wisely: Address conflicts directly when necessary. Practice speaking up about your needs in a calm, constructive manner to prevent resentment and build healthier relationships.
Stay Connected with Your Feelings: Regularly check in with your emotions and use techniques like journaling to process them. Stay aware of your feelings even if you prefer to keep things low-key.
Choose Your Engagement: Remember that you have the power to make choices and change your mind. Reassess decisions as needed and allow yourself flexibility.
Create Peaceful Spaces: Identify areas in your life where you can retreat and recharge. Having a personal space or time for reflection helps maintain your peace.
Actively Engage with Others: Set small, specific goals for social interactions and gradually increase your involvement. Engaging with others can help you feel more connected and valued.
Your homework… Reflect on your stance and time orientation. How do they influence your daily interactions and decisions? What strengths and challenges do they present? Understanding these aspects can truly empower you on your journey toward greater self-awareness and personal growth.
Thank you for joining me on this exploration of Enneagram stances and their incredible value in our lives. Much of what I’ve learned comes from Suzanne Stabile’s profound work. I’m grateful for her dedication to studying and deeply loving the Enneagram and its impact on people’s lives.
On your side and in your corner,
Lori
