Feeling Unappreciated at Work?
Have you ever found yourself feeling unappreciated at work? Maybe you didn’t receive any recognition for a project you just completed or your boss hasn’t said anything about the way you consistently deliver on your responsibilities. Maybe your boss doesn’t communicate well, show appreciation, or give recognition. A recent reorganization at work had me thinking about this and realizing the need to feel valued and appreciated, especially by my boss.
Another new boss…
In April this year, the tech company I work for laid off 500+ people, leaving me reporting to new leadership, including my direct boss. The differences between my prior boss, who was let go, and the new boss are vastly different.
My prior boss was patient, a bit more relational, asked good questions, listened, and was cautious to take risks or push boundaries. I guess you could say I had a good “work/life balance” at the time.
My new boss is less patient, overly focused on results more than people or relationships, and tells vs. asks questions or listens. I’ve learned to expect more criticism than any type of recognition.
Enter Self-Awareness….a key aspect of Emotional Intelligence.
This style of boss is tough for me! I am a “words person.” Words can make or break me. (I learned this about myself from taking the 5 Love Languages quiz.) I am an Enneagram 2, Helper. I have a deep desire to be wanted. A 2’s basic fear = being unwanted, unworthy of being loved. Ugh. This new work relationship was crushing me. The frustration I was feeling, of realizing my fear of being unwanted was becoming true, or so I thought. My anxiety and frustration started bleeding into my home life and marriage. The way things were going and how I was feeling wasn’t sustainable.
Reflection is a fundamental part of my daily routine and a tool I deeply appreciate. It helps me validate my emotions and delve deeper into my thoughts. I recently came to the realization that my interactions with my boss were making me miserable, and I allowed this frustration to steal my time and well-being. I'm now in a much better place than before.
5 steps I Took to Feel Appreciated
I recognized how I was feeling, what the triggers were, including the situation and details of what happened.
I focused on what I could control.
I evaluated options, including changing jobs internally or externally.
I sought advice from someone I trust, (my husband) who had a better understanding of my boss’ personality than I did. He helped me understand ways I was getting validation and appreciation, that I didn’t realize. Catch this point. I needed to think differently and grow.
I stopped worrying about being good enough and grounded in the fact that I was doing my best work and was valuable and capable given my years of experience and overall results.
The result of the steps above gave me more peace and fulfillment internally. If you’re in a situation where you’re feeling unappreciated or valued, I’d love to connect with you to work on a plan to bring you more peace and fulfillment.
