Boundaries and Self-Awareness
Have you ever set boundaries in your life? It might seem like a cliché in today's culture, but what if I told you that defining healthy boundaries could actually help remove hardships and anxiety, while also being kind towards yourself? Today we’re exploring what it means to set boundaries in your life.
A boundary is defined as …
a line or limit where one thing ends and another begins, or something that indicates such a line or limit.
Understanding Boundaries
Boundaries are not just lines. They help us to take care of ourselves and to guard our hearts and minds. They help us keep the good in and the bad out. At its core, understanding boundaries is about recognizing the lines we draw to hold ourselves and others accountable.
Boundaries define where our personal space ends and another's begins, giving us a sense of ownership and self-respect. For instance, you may set a boundary of working a certain amount of hours in a week, making sure you have balance and take time to rest your mind and body, or spending time watching only a certain amount of TV. It may mean staying clear from people (or limit your time with them) or places that may cause you to struggle, have anxiety, or take away from your inner peace and joy.
Setting boundaries isn't about building walls or shutting people out; it's about creating safe spaces for authentic connection and personal growth. When we establish healthy boundaries, we are making self-worth and self-respect a priority in our lives.
First Step To Creating Personal Boundaries - Know Your Values
Building upon the idea of setting boundaries, it's important to recognize the role our values play in shaping the limits we set for ourselves. Let’s dive in.
Values are the important beliefs and principles that make our lives feel meaningful and give us direction. When we understand ourselves better, we get to know these values, which guide what we want and why we want it. Being aware of ourselves is key to knowing where to draw the line in our personal lives. It equips you to establish strong boundaries that protect your well-being and identity, critical for maintaining healthy relationships and upholding self-respect.
Understanding your values is foundational for setting your boundaries. For example, connection is a value of mine. If my job doesn’t prioritize or enable connection, I will most likely feel a sort of emptiness. Like something is lacking. It may prompt me to take action to find a way to add connection into my work day or possibly find another job that fills this value. If you haven’t established your values or need to refresh them, download our values exercise here.
Upholding Your Boundaries
Once you’ve established your values, you can create boundaries. Once you have your boundaries set in place, you will be tempted to compromise them. These temptations often come from fears we're trying to avoid or desires we seek for relief or fulfillment. To understand your core fears and desires further, you can explore Enneagram Personality Types here.
Below are practical tips to uphold your boundaries:
Keep a list of your values in places where you spend time, such as on your phone, at home, or at work.
Make sure you have a support network around you. Find 1 or 2 people you trust. Tell them your boundaries and that you’d like them to keep you accountable. Talk about the struggles you see coming in honoring the boundaries.
Check in with your support network often and honestly share how things are going upholding your boundaries.
It’s essential to re-evaluate your boundaries over time. Maybe every 6 months to account for ways your life may have changed, including your values.
If you’d like support to establish your values and personal boundaries, we’d be honored to partner with you. Clarifying your personal values and boundaries is a valuable investment in yourself. Remember, life is short, and you’re worth it!
Book time with me here!
On your side and in your corner,
Lori
