Confronting Fears’ Grip on Your Life
Let’s continue to explore the Enneagram Typing System. In prior blogs, we've laid the groundwork by introducing you to the 9 core personality types. Today, we dive deeper into each type, focusing on their core motivations, fear and desire, and the influence they have over our lives.
The battle between fear and desire is a real aspect of our lives. We all have our own fears, things we desperately wish to avoid - situations or consequences that we dread because we know they'll bring discomfort. In an attempt to escape these fears, we gravitate towards our core desires, believing that if we fulfill them, we can avoid the underlying fears.
Constantly running from our fears comes at a cost. When our actions and behaviors don't align with our true desires, it can leave us feeling disconnected from ourselves and others. It's like living a life that doesn't quite fit, leaving us wanting something more.
Additionally, the relentless pursuit of avoidance can take a toll on our mental and emotional well-being. It can lead to increased levels of stress and anxiety, blocking our ability to grow and realize the peace and joy God has for us.
So maybe instead of always running away from our fears, it's time to confront them head-on. By facing our fears intentionally with courage (and I’ll add lots of prayer!), we create opportunities for growth and transformation. It's through this journey of self-discovery and acceptance that we can live with greater authenticity and peace in our lives.
Exploring Core Fears
Let's take a closer look at the core fears that align with each Enneagram type:
Type 1: Fear of being bad, corrupt, or wrong.
Type 2: Fear of being unwanted, unloved, or replaceable.
Type 3: Fear of failure, inadequacy, or being seen as worthless.
Type 4: Fear of being ordinary, mundane, or insignificant.
Type 5: Fear of incompetence, incapability, or invasion of privacy.
Type 6: Fear of uncertainty, abandonment, or lack of support.
Type 7: Fear of deprivation, emotional pain, or boredom.
Type 8: Fear of being controlled, harmed, or manipulated.
Type 9: Fear of conflict, being overlooked, or unaccepted.
Examining Core Desires
In contrast to our fears, our core desires reflect our deepest longings and aspirations. Here are the corresponding desires for each Enneagram type:
Type 1: Desire for goodness, purity, and integrity.
Type 2: Desire for love, appreciation, and kindness.
Type 3: Desire for achievement, success, and recognition.
Type 4: Desire for uniqueness, authenticity, and self-expression.
Type 5: Desire for knowledge, competence, and self-sufficiency.
Type 6: Desire for safety, security, and support.
Type 7: Desire for satisfaction, fulfillment, and contentment.
Type 8: Desire for control, power, and strength.
Type 9: Desire for inner peace, harmony, and acceptance.
4 Steps to Address Your Fears
Below are 4 practical steps you can take to begin addressing your fears and living a life that aligns with your true self:
Discover Your Core Personality Type:
Download our Enneagram Typing Guide which you can find here, and/or schedule a coaching session to gain deeper insights into your personality type, including a personalized assessment and detailed guidance tailored to your needs.
Explore Your Core Motivations:
Once you've identified your core personality type, take a deeper dive into your motivations, including your core fear and desire. Understanding these aspects of yourself will empower you to make informed decisions and navigate life's challenges more effectively.
Recognize and Address Your Core Fear:
Pay attention to situations, relationships, and patterns in your life where your core fear shows itself. By acknowledging and confronting these fears with courage, you can transform them into opportunities for growth and personal development.
Prepare for the Inevitable:
Realize that most likely, your core fear will surface at some point in your lifetime. Since I’ve become consciously aware of core fears, I know mine have! By joining a community of like-minded people who are also exploring the Enneagram on their journey of self-discovery, you can prepare yourself to recognize when it comes up. Strengthen your skills in addressing this fear so it doesn’t take hold of your life.
To best support you in Step 4, we're excited to introduce ClearlyYou, a 6-8 week program designed to guide you through a journey of self-discovery and personal transformation. Here's a glimpse into the program's high-level steps:
✲ Preparing for Transformation
We begin our coaching by recognizing that you are made in the image of God and are fully known and loved. We'll reflect on the past, acknowledging losses, expressing gratitude, and understanding that some past thoughts and behaviors may no longer be helpful. We'll explore your values and how they've shaped your life.
We start here to get you to a place where you can envision and embrace a fresh start. It will become clear what you should build upon vs. what you need to let go of. To reach a place of authentic self-awareness and growth, you need to be open to change to achieve a more fulfilled and purpose-driven you.
Once you’ve taken time to reflect and prepare for your transformation, you will be ready to take another step on the journey of self-discovery, and self-awareness to achieve a more joyful, peaceful, and successful life.
✲ Discover Your Authentic Self
In this part of the program, we'll dig into your personality to understand more of who you are.
Using the Enneagram system, we'll work together to figure out your core motivations, including fears and desires, and how you can grow personally based on your unique personality. You'll start to see how these things show up in your life and more importantly, how you respond to them.
The Enneagram will help us discover your strengths, areas where you can grow, and things you might not see clearly. The assessment results don’t define you. They simply offer knowledge and information for us to use in the transformation process.
Even though this step might feel a bit intimidating, don't worry—we’ll be here with you the whole time. This part is super important for understanding your life better and setting goals for yourself.
✲ Create a Personalized Plan for Renewed Self-Awareness
Now that you know yourself better, we’ll plan for the life you want. We'll work together to figure out where you want to go and create clear steps to get there. We'll also make sure your values match what's important to you.
Without a clear plan and support, it's hard to achieve the changes you want in your life.
We'll tackle the journey of change together, using your strengths and letting go of things that hold you back. We’ll be here every step of the way to help you create a happier, calmer, and more successful life that truly reflects who you are.
✲ Successfully Execute Your Plan!
As you execute your detailed plan, we'll give you tools for success, like understanding emotions using the EQ-i 2.0 framework. Knowing your feelings and learning how to handle them will make your journey better. We'll also help you handle changes in your relationships because of the big shift in how you see yourself.
✲ SOAR!
With this refreshed understanding of who you are, we can't wait to see the incredible heights you'll reach! Embrace your newfound self with confidence and excitement.
If you’d like to know more about ClearlyYou, fill out the information at the bottom of the page here.
On your side and in your corner,
Lori
