Leaving Corporate After 30 Years
They say you have to let something go to make room for something else. That analogy fits so well here.
Over the past 4 years, the friction or strife, I guess you can call it, increased in corporate as a Software Engineering Manager. My interactions with senior leaders and co-workers weren’t as joyful and pleasant as they once were. The recognition for a job well done slowly decreased like the sun at the end of a long day. Increasing demands with fewer resources and critical feedback consumed the space.
The grace of God left the season…left the presence of my role in corporate. This is something my wise sister-in-law said to me while she and her family visited us last weekend. I think I was a little late to acknowledge it, but it is so true. It struck me greatly! That’s why I was experiencing the strife and friction I spoke of. God’s grace (divine help and strength) left. This is something to NOT take lightly. It IS time to move on.
Being in Corporate for over 30 years has afforded me many things in life. Opportunities to grow, fail, learn, and make amazing friendships. It funded my husband’s business adventure, a private school for my daughter, my daughter’s wedding, and more. All of this came with a false security that I thought I obtained. I secured the “warranty” of love by working hard to make people dependent upon me.
I stayed so long in hopes of securing acceptance, love, and indispensability.
Let me be clear, no one asked me to do this for them. I behaved this way based on a subconscious fear. The fear caused me to chase a desire to be needed, wanted and loved. A fear that has existed since childhood. I wanted to secure love and be wanted by those most important in my life.
Once I learned about this fear, this trap, this burden I’d been carrying for years, I wrestled with letting it go. Stripping it from my life. Ugh….what a revelation. I had to let go of my deep desire to be wanted. Ouch.
After a long time, here I am, leaving my security, my corporate job. Coming face-to-face with my fears and embracing my God-given skills, strengths, and desires. Finally I’m deciding, not forcing myself to be something else or act in ways I was never meant to. This includes the identity God has given me to live out on this earth. Making such a bold and dramatic change. Oh, I can just feel it…the peace and joy of walking in this freedom and calling that I have resisted for so long.
“There are three things extremely hard: steel, a diamond, and to know one's self."
–Benjamin Franklin
Below are some things I learned during my self-awareness journey that I'll apply in the upcoming season despite them not being valued in my corporate role.
I see the strengths and values in others, including the great potential they have. I truly see who they are. I can use this information to help solve problems (business or personal).
My emotions are the first to show up in most situations. I am working on balancing my mind and instincts IN ADDITION TO emotions.
I work in the gray (the unclear) very well and see the glass as half full with many possibilities.
I have empathy and can feel what people are feeling. I can and will walk alongside their struggles and the burdens they carry.
Monday, 4/8/24, is my last day at my corporate job!
Although scary and full of unknowns, I have decided to document my journey of leaving corporate. I invite you to follow along as I untangle the crazy grip and ties of needing to be wanted so badly that I sacrificed my needs and identity. This changes now. I will share raw learning, experiences, joy, and confusion…all of it. I have committed to posting real time videos on Instagram and will continue to update you through our newsletter and Facebook. I truly hope you join me through the hills and valleys.
Ways to follow my journey…
The journey of self-awareness is such an important one. It’s not easy, but the rewards are so great!
On your side and in your corner!
Lori
