3 Actions To Stop Over-Explaining

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Do you feel the need to constantly explain yourself to others, just to be understood?

The truth is, you don’t have to explain anything to anyone about why you think or feel a certain way. You don't need to justify why you decided for or against something.

The only understanding or approval you need is from your own internal compass, built upon your values. If you haven’t determined your values, download our FREE values exercise here.

Why Do We Over-Explain?

The urge to explain ourselves often comes from deeply seated insecurity, seeking approval from others. As shared by Psychology Today, “Often, people over-explain when they worry that they are not being heard, understood, or believed.”

Over-explaining ourselves delays progress and hinders the greatness and achievements in front of you.

Meet Sarah…

Sarah was always the type of person who felt she needed to explain her every move. Whether it was at work, with friends, or even at home, she constantly found herself justifying her decisions.

"Why did you choose that project?"

"Why aren't you coming to the party?"

"Why did you spend money on that?"

It seemed endless.

One day, after a particularly exhausting week of explanations, Sarah decided to take a step back. She realized how much energy she was wasting trying to get everyone to understand and agree with her choices.

By increasing her self-awareness and valuing herself more, she learned she didn't need to explain anything to anyone and began trusting her own values and decisions. Inspired, Sarah decided to put this advice into practice.

The next time someone questioned her decision, she simply smiled and said, "It's what felt right for me."

She stopped over-explaining and started trusting herself more.

Slowly but surely, she noticed a change.

She felt lighter, more confident, and more in tune with her own needs and desires.

She realized that the only approval she needed was her own.

By letting go of the need for external validation, Sarah unlocked a new level of freedom and self-assurance. She began to pursue her passions with more energy and less doubt.

Sarah's journey is a reminder to all of us: trust yourself, embrace your values, and let go of the need for constant explanations.

Actions Toward Freedom

Here are some actions you can take to free yourself from the burden of over-explaining:

1. Reflect on Your Triggers: Take a moment to think about situations where you feel compelled to justify your decisions.

2. Get Curious: When you find yourself oversharing, ask yourself what's really happening. Do you feel like others aren’t listening? Are you explaining yourself to avoid trouble or ease some worry or fear? Maybe it's social awkwardness making you talk too much. These reasons aren't good or bad; they just are. Explore these feelings to understand yourself better.

3. Trust Your Instincts: Consider how trusting your instincts and values can lead to greater self-assurance and inner peace. What if they don’t agree? Will it change your decision or how you proceed? Trust yourself and your values.

At SOAR Clarity Coaching, we believe that letting go of the need to over-explain yourself is a powerful step toward self-awareness and freedom. Embrace the journey of self-discovery and start prioritizing your own approval over external validation.

You are enough just as you are, and you don’t need external validation to know your worth. Trust yourself and your instincts.

Thank you for being a part of the SOAR community!

On your side and in your corner,

Lori