Breaking Up With My Ego
This year has brought a series of work changes—new roles, new managers, new expectations. With each shift, uncertainty creeps in. I feel my chest tighten when someone looks puzzled at a point I’ve made. Before I know it, I’m explaining it again—sometimes a third time—threading every detail to make sure they “get it.” In meetings, my tongue races ahead of my brain; I cut someone off mid-sentence, eager to make my voice heard, oblivious to what they were about to say. My reasoning goes out the window. Ideas half-formed, not because I lack clarity, but because I’m working so hard to prove I belong. To ensure there isn’t a moment when anyone might doubt I’m wanted.
Being placed in new situations with new people and expectations is inherently unsettling. Unless, of course, you’re a natural risk-taker, like Enneagram 8’s - the Challengers. These transitions tend to trigger more anxiety than offering a healthy challenge.
Often, when we face situations that are new or unclear, our ego, driven by fear, steps forward. It attempts to protect us from hurt or from outcomes we most dread. For me, as an Enneagram 2—the Helper—my core fear is being unwanted and unloved. But no matter our personality, many of us respond to uncertainty the same way: we give more, do more, and work harder to secure our place and feel wanted.
Ego is the self-protective part of us that, often out of fear, drives
us to overcompensate, cover up, or behave in ways that
secure validation or safety. Sometimes at the cost of authenticity.
The problem is, ego doesn’t bring peace. It causes more harm than good. It leads us to a place of constant proving and strife. It blinds our ability to see others. It’s the peace we receive from the Lord that calms our fear and insecurities:
“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.” — John 14:27 (ESV)
It’s the whisper that says we are safe. That the Lord has a plan for our lives.
“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you.” — Isaiah 43:2 (ESV)
Stepping into the unknown may be uncomfortable, but it also brings opportunities for growth. The Lord opens doors. Sometimes into stressful, unplanned situations, and other times into exciting, joy-filled ones. Either way, His presence is steady.
How to know when our ego is showing…
Our bodies shift from a relaxed state to tension or heightened attention.
We feel pulled closer to the situation or conversation, wanting control.
Our hearts race as emotions get ahead of our thoughts.
We become quick to speak and slow to listen, feeling an urgency to make our point known.
How to respond when your ego is showing:
We are encouraged to choose the high road and be humble, no matter the situation or who is involved. Scripture reminds us:
“For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.” — Luke 14:11 (ESV)
And also:
“Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.” — Philippians 2:3–4 (ESV)
Breaking up with ego means choosing humility and resting in God’s peace. Our worth isn’t earned by overdoing—it’s already secured in Christ.
Are there places in your life where ego is pushing you to act differently than you want—maybe speaking too quickly or not listening well?
Dear God, You are so good. Thank You for Your wisdom and being our guide.
Please help us recognize when our egos are showing, when fear starts to take hold of our minds and hearts. Help us remain in a posture of humility, counting others before ourselves, knowing You are with us. Thank You for the gift of peace that steadies us and reminds us of our worth in Christ.
In Jesus’ name,
Amen.
